momming: (This is some trippy shit homes)
Otome "bend over and cough" Yanagiya ([personal profile] momming) wrote 2021-07-28 03:02 pm (UTC)

[ That's a lot to unpack and while Otome honestly likes to do her best when it comes to supporting others, her own emotions and thoughts are a swirling maelstrom right now. Is she the best person to try to help him when she's also a mess?

Absolutely not. She knows that. A lot of this is her own fault, after all.

But, instinctively, she also can't let this go. ]


The week that we lost-- that we lost Byleth and I took Wang Lu away from you, I-- told you that I didn't care about myself. And you told me that you couldn't... stand to lose me, too.

[ She blinks back more tears, even as she reaches up to place her hands on top of his, to try to encourage him not to clutch his head so hard. ]

But by making the choice I did, by agreeing to kill him, I was the one who shattered things between us. I knew I was going to lose you as someone I cared about, as a friend, and I couldn't even tell you at the time. I just, selfishly, made things worse. And I hated myself even more for it.

... If I could have died to save everyone, I would have done it in a heartbeat. It would have been better than what I ended up doing. But--

[ She laughs, and it's this watery, broken thing. ]

Are you even listening to yourself? Making everything about you? You wouldn't be hurting like this if you weren't trying so hard to understand what I went through in the first place! You and the others suffered just as much, if not more! I've seen it, just how hard you try to support people when they reach out to you, and just how much you've struggled with what to do when those people betray you! How even when you're hurting right now, you don't want to keep hurting the others!

We're-- we're alive, we're human. And as long as that remains true, there will never be a time where we don't all hurt each other for one reason or another. Especially in a place like this, that was meant to have conflict and pain. I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm sure-- it's just escalated emotions talking and they don't actually hate you. But I disagree with keeping your feelings to yourself.

You-- don't have to be okay. I'm not okay. And it might be a long time before you start to even begin feeling okay again. Just-- breathe. One day at a time. The rest will come on its own.

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