[well, what if she just picks otome up. bridal carry!]
Feels like it. I probably shouldn't have tried to push so hard. [but - she's flat, matter of fact about it.] I was too nosy, and Adora suffered for it.
[she's gonna carry her off somewhere to rest!] Breathe, babe. It's okay, I've got you.
[ Oh my god. Otome is instantly flustered by biceps and she latches onto Beau's neck, eyes a little wide. She does, however, soon just rest her head against her shoulder without protest (wow those biceps).
Still-- ]
Caleb told me, last night-- that it's difficult to draw a line between blame and consequences. What happened to Adora was to punish me... I can acknowledge that.
... So if you blame yourself, I'll just have to stop you.
it's okay, beau rests her head against otome's as she walks.]
... I think it was to punish all of us. [she says, with a sigh.] I'm - trying. I'm trying.
[to not blame herself. she sighs.] I can't... fucking imagine, what it must be like, to have to be hunted down. To do something that's so opposite to your nature.
... [ She closes her eyes briefly, even as she listens. ]
If the only person I ever had to hurt was myself in order to protect people, I'd do it ten times over.
[ But it wasn't that easy and the consequences have come hard and fast this week, more than her increasing misery since the second week. ]
... Beau, I-- [ Otome takes a quieter breath. ] I think you know as well as I do that I might not even make it to the weekend. Are you really sure that's what you want?
I-- [ Even just that one syllable trembles and Beau can probably feel her emotions warring with each other. What she wants, what she thinks she deserves. What she's done, the people she's hurt, and the people who have still chosen to accept her. The ones who haven't, understandably.
She's scared. She knows how lonely it is to be the one left behind and Beau has already been hurt so much. Can she really do that to her? Even if it's just a risk right now?
But she remembers what she had told the old woman. About having to put the work in herself. And after everything this week has been, Otome can't help it.
She lifts her head and pulls herself closer just enough to catch Beau's mouth in a kiss. ]
[that absolutely stops her right in her tracks, and her breath hiccups a little when otome pulls her into a kiss. her emotions go wild - fondness and worry, affection and fear. she's scared of letting herself have this much.
but she also thinks about how fleeting things can be. she thinks about a cold dirt road and an orchard, thinks about how life can just - end, abruptly, no matter how bright you are.
and thinks fuck it. this isn't something she wants to pass up.
with a shivery little sound, beau kisses her back, lingering and soft.]
[ It's so warm and welcoming that she could honestly cry, if she wasn't already crying-- no longer heaving sobs, at least, but her emotions mixing with Beau's aren't doing her any favors here.
Still, Otome lingers in it, this comfort and gentleness, a little regretful that being deaf in one ear means she can't fully enjoy the soft sound Beau just made. And when she draws back, she speaks quietly.
[oh, there's all the fluster. the bridge of beau's nose and her cheeks dust with pink, and she laughs a little, maybe just a touch nervous. but she doesn't back down, and she doesn't run. she just shifts otome in her arms, and continues to carry her off.]
Feels like I should be asking you that question. [beau murmurs, pleased in this tiny, gleeful sort of way. maybe it's a risk, but she's so fucking sick of being sad.] Come take a nap with me, okay? I can practically feel how tired you are.
[ It's mumbled drowsily and it's probably actually hilarious that once Beau settles them into the bed, Otome just-- melts, for lack of a better word. The tension slowly drains out of her and she instinctively cuddles closer, exhaustion finally winning out over the rest of her emotions and turbulent thoughts. ]
[once she drifts off, beau tucks otome's head under her chin and absently strokes her fingers through her hair. it's relaxing - hopefully for both of them.
eventually, she'll fall asleep too, warm and safe, for now.]
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Feels like it. I probably shouldn't have tried to push so hard. [but - she's flat, matter of fact about it.] I was too nosy, and Adora suffered for it.
[she's gonna carry her off somewhere to rest!] Breathe, babe. It's okay, I've got you.
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Still-- ]
Caleb told me, last night-- that it's difficult to draw a line between blame and consequences. What happened to Adora was to punish me... I can acknowledge that.
... So if you blame yourself, I'll just have to stop you.
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it's okay, beau rests her head against otome's as she walks.]
... I think it was to punish all of us. [she says, with a sigh.] I'm - trying. I'm trying.
[to not blame herself. she sighs.] I can't... fucking imagine, what it must be like, to have to be hunted down. To do something that's so opposite to your nature.
... I'm with you. If you want me to be.
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If the only person I ever had to hurt was myself in order to protect people, I'd do it ten times over.
[ But it wasn't that easy and the consequences have come hard and fast this week, more than her increasing misery since the second week. ]
... Beau, I-- [ Otome takes a quieter breath. ] I think you know as well as I do that I might not even make it to the weekend. Are you really sure that's what you want?
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Yeah. [she says, after a moment.] Life is short.
... I want a little bit of happiness. Even if it won't last. [...] Do you?
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I-- [ Even just that one syllable trembles and Beau can probably feel her emotions warring with each other. What she wants, what she thinks she deserves. What she's done, the people she's hurt, and the people who have still chosen to accept her. The ones who haven't, understandably.
She's scared. She knows how lonely it is to be the one left behind and Beau has already been hurt so much. Can she really do that to her? Even if it's just a risk right now?
But she remembers what she had told the old woman. About having to put the work in herself. And after everything this week has been, Otome can't help it.
She lifts her head and pulls herself closer just enough to catch Beau's mouth in a kiss. ]
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but she also thinks about how fleeting things can be. she thinks about a cold dirt road and an orchard, thinks about how life can just - end, abruptly, no matter how bright you are.
and thinks fuck it. this isn't something she wants to pass up.
with a shivery little sound, beau kisses her back, lingering and soft.]
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Still, Otome lingers in it, this comfort and gentleness, a little regretful that being deaf in one ear means she can't fully enjoy the soft sound Beau just made. And when she draws back, she speaks quietly.
But there's her first real smile in a few days. ]
How could I not want you, Beau?
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Feels like I should be asking you that question. [beau murmurs, pleased in this tiny, gleeful sort of way. maybe it's a risk, but she's so fucking sick of being sad.] Come take a nap with me, okay? I can practically feel how tired you are.
[those protective vibes again.]
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I-- sleeping last night was kind of impossible, that's all.
[ But it's not a no. And she thinks even if she did protest, Beau wouldn't put her down anyway. ]
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I'll make sure nobody bothers you, okay?
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... Thank you, Beau. [ It's said very softly. Just for literally everything. ]
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anyway she's pretty much got a whole bed to herself so it's fine. ichiro and kon can sleep on the floor.]
Shh. You don't have to thank me. [she'll be here regardless.
this time, she doesn't bother being shy. she just settles on the bed, curled up with otome. she's careful of her wounds, as always.]
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[ It's mumbled drowsily and it's probably actually hilarious that once Beau settles them into the bed, Otome just-- melts, for lack of a better word. The tension slowly drains out of her and she instinctively cuddles closer, exhaustion finally winning out over the rest of her emotions and turbulent thoughts. ]
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eventually, she'll fall asleep too, warm and safe, for now.]