After a short pause, she squeezes his hand in return. Her own hand is still pretty cold from all the outside time she's been doing. ]
I mean mostly as a doctor, though I was also trying to save humanity from being wiped out back home. But here, there's not exactly some... Big Bad Threat I can face and know that if I defeat it, everything will be all right.
Here, the biggest threats seem to be ourselves and the world itself.
... I second-guess myself quite a bit and wonder all the time if I'm doing enough. Whenever something big is on the line, I become scared that I'll fail.
But what scares me more is not trying at all. So I don't feel strong at all, just... desperate, I suppose.
You know, I'm...not going to say that, like, you're totally prepared or super strong and can take on anythin'. Like, it's obvious that all of us are like...a fish out of water with this place.
But you being worried that you might fail is like...normal. That means you care about what you're doin'. So...you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. And you shouldn't see it as actin', either. You're doin' your best, and you want to do your best, y'know?
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That's my job. And I don't even know if I have the guts to do it.
[Does he even have the feeling to do it?]
...That's nice of you, Otome. But I don't like the idea of you putting yourself in harms way.
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[ And thus Mandricardo doesn't have to worry(??) ]
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[He frowns.]
It feels too much. If you're doing such a thing...you shouldn't be doin' it alone.
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What if she kills again?
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Then we vote for her.
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[It just feels like...they've backed themselves into a moral corner, here.]
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Things have always been more grey than I've been willing to admit.
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[He reaches for her hand to give it a squeeze.]
When you talk about saving people...do you mean that literally?
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After a short pause, she squeezes his hand in return. Her own hand is still pretty cold from all the outside time she's been doing. ]
I mean mostly as a doctor, though I was also trying to save humanity from being wiped out back home. But here, there's not exactly some... Big Bad Threat I can face and know that if I defeat it, everything will be all right.
Here, the biggest threats seem to be ourselves and the world itself.
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[Yeah, he's learning to be bold, also. What. He's blinking.]
Otome, you were...tryin' to save humanity? That's a big job! N-No wonder you're so strong when it comes to this stuff...
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What do you mean, "acting"? You never came across that way to me.
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But what scares me more is not trying at all. So I don't feel strong at all, just... desperate, I suppose.
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You know, I'm...not going to say that, like, you're totally prepared or super strong and can take on anythin'. Like, it's obvious that all of us are like...a fish out of water with this place.
But you being worried that you might fail is like...normal. That means you care about what you're doin'. So...you shouldn't beat yourself up over it. And you shouldn't see it as actin', either. You're doin' your best, and you want to do your best, y'know?
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You're surprisingly good at pep talks.
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[There's a pause.]
[And then he moves to pull her into a hug.]
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I just... want to get everyone home safely. That's... all I've ever wanted.
[ So why is it so hard? ]
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[He closes his eyes, raising a hand to brush through her hair.]
You're not alone.
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Thank you. If... anything happens to me, I know everyone will be in good hands.
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[His grip tightens on her, unconsciously.]
I wanna make sure you get out of here, okay?
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... I just also know there's no real guarantee right now. [ And she lifts her head. ]
It'll be all right, though. I don't want to leave the people here, either.
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...Tell me about home. Who do you got waitin' for ya?
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Technically, no one. But I have an aunt and uncle and a little cousin, Koharu. We're pretty close.
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[A little carefully - he wonders if they're gone.]
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