Catch-all; Catra

[momming]

Comments

Week 6, Saturday

[momming]

[ Hi, kitty.

She's just approaching the jungle gym.

... And then climbing it to join her. ]

[supercatty]

[oh. . .]

[her ears twitch when she hears Otome climbing the jungle gym, and on instinct she shifts to make more room for her to sit]

Otome--?

[Huh? Why's she here? Isn't she mad?]

[momming]

[ Oh, Catra...

Otome smiles gratefully at her as she settles beside her. ]

I'm sorry. I was a little too shocked to remember that at the time, you laughed when you found out about me, too. A way of protecting yourself, I think.

[supercatty]

[. . .]

[her ears flick upwards a bit, and she draws one knee up against her chest, chin resting on top. her thoughts go blank]

. . . yeah, well. . .

[she is not saying Otome is right on the money but Otome is right on the money]

I'm also kind of a jerk, so. . . it's okay.

[momming]

You just have different ways of reacting, that's all. I shouldn't have snapped at you immediately.

[ I really am sorry. ]

And truthfully, even though I know he ought to be fine tomorrow, I wonder how many people voted for him without knowing the truth. Why people voted for Lalli, despite him trying to protect someone-- he would have also been found not guilty. And Maya thought she was doing the right thing.

I can't deny we all have biases, of course. That's just human nature. But it's all been upsetting, for so many reasons.

[supercatty]

[. . . any tension seems to melt out of her shoulders at that, and she lifts her gaze a bit to meet Otome's expression searching]

[. . .]

It's-- okay to have biases. But the way some people wear them so openly and proudly while calling it "righteous" is. . .

[. . .]

[a tiny little shrug]

I don't know.

[and maybe it was all of that, coupled with what had happened to Maya and her admittance that she was guilty, that had caused her to snap]

[momming]

[ Otome gazes back at her, her expression a little forlorn and weary. ]

It's frustrating. Because there's no righteousness in this.

[ Simply that. ]

We just go with who we think we can handle losing... and I hate this place even more for putting everyone in a position like that.

[supercatty]

But what one person can handle losing, another one can't. So it's not fair any way to look at it. Is it?

[all of those people who cared for Denji, for Tsuyukasa, for Rupert. . . how are they feeling right now?]

[momming]

Exactly. We've all come to care for people here, in different ways. Tsuyukusa said Beau was upset that he'd killed me, but I... took people away from their loved ones, too. I don't ever really expect Mandricardo to forgive me, since I killed Wang Lu.

... I honestly didn't think I would be missed if I died, or that I should be missed, but...

[ People, man. ]

[supercatty]

[. . . FROWNS AT HER!!!]

Don't say you shouldn't be missed. That's stupid.

[so there!]

[momming]

I did think it, briefly.

I know that's not the case, and I'm grateful I do have people who care for me... just it's not that easy to let go of the guilt.

[ She smiles, a little apologetically. ]

[supercatty]

[ah. . . well. that is something. . . Catra understands. she still harbors guilt herself, for what she did to Byleth and also for the things she did back home]

[. . .]

You know. . . I think that's-- um.

Something I'm trying to. . . learn myself. So, you know, if you want to like. . . talk about it, or whatever--

[OR WHATEVER]

[momming]

[ ... Her heart. ]

Have you found a method that works?

[supercatty]

[. . . quietly]

No.

[momming]

... Neither have I.

[supercatty]

[where's the "How to Live With the Shitty Things You've Done" manual when you need it]

[a humorless laugh]

Then. . . we're two peas in a pod, aren't we?

[momming]

I'd say so. I'm sorry that we have to share a similarity like that!

[ Her laugh is also a little pained. ]

[supercatty]

[THIS IS BONDING]

Yeah. . . though there isn't much we can do about it now, is there?

[momming]

Not at all. All we can do is move forward and try to keep improving ourselves as we do.