That happened. Otome doing her best to not go off on hyperventilation round 2 during the execution and tending to Mandricardo and she is pretty sure she still looks as terrible as she feels and not exactly ready to try and face everyone else that she hasn't spoken with already, but.
One can't wander too very far with Injuries or at least not very quickly, so she pauses to catch her breath. And breathes out, shakily.
-- And then kind of freezes like a deer in the headlights when her gaze falls on a familiar face. ]
[beau also freezes, fists clenched. she doesn't know what to do here - thankfully, she's far enough that her emotions are probably not able to be sensed, but.]
... Otome. [she says, voice a bit hoarse. she's defensive, guarded, watching with her jaw tense and mouth twisted, a bit.]
[ In response, Otome doesn't move any closer-- rather, she takes a step back, then wobbles but remains standing with one hand loosely resting over her burned arm. ]
I'm sorry, [ she says finally, tiredly blinking back tears. Her own voice is hoarse. ] I didn't know that would-- but I think I must have put you through hell. I'm just-- [ And her voice cracks. ] -- Sorry. For everything.
she stutters, at first, but then she just doesn't let herself hesitate. she walks with purpose, like she's - going to just ram into her, or something, but she doesn't. she stops, very carefully takes otome's face in her hands, tilts her head up, and kisses her. just once, just - gently.
and then rests her forehead against otome's.]
Shut up. [she mutters.] Don't apologize to me when you've been going through hell for weeks.
[ Otome is tense at first, completely braced to accept whatever Beau has to throw at her (a punch, her hurt, her fury) and she would absolutely deserve it. She did this, it's her fault--
But Beau doesn't do any of that and for once, Otome's emotions don't remain at that bleak sort of resignation and self-loathing. There's surprise and something much warmer in the half-second that the kiss happens and she tries to draw in a breath as Beau presses their foreheads together.
What actually happens is that she instead bursts into tears, struggling to speak through her sobs. ]
[but - otome bursts into tears, and beau feels - over the top of nauseated, painful grief - a surge of protectiveness. she wraps her arms around her and just... holds her.]
I'm sorry this place has fucking sucked so bad for you. [she says, against otome's hair, closing her eyes.] I'm sorry.
[ She just-- sags, as much as she tries not to, because she's running on two hours of sleep and trying so hard for so long to push herself to keep going, and this week has indeed fucking sucked. So bad.
But her arms come up, her fingers curling into Beau's back as she tries to keep speaking, forcing herself to take deeper breaths. ]
S-stop. If... I'm not allowed to apologize, you aren't, either. This-- none of this is your fault.
[well, what if she just picks otome up. bridal carry!]
Feels like it. I probably shouldn't have tried to push so hard. [but - she's flat, matter of fact about it.] I was too nosy, and Adora suffered for it.
[she's gonna carry her off somewhere to rest!] Breathe, babe. It's okay, I've got you.
[ Oh my god. Otome is instantly flustered by biceps and she latches onto Beau's neck, eyes a little wide. She does, however, soon just rest her head against her shoulder without protest (wow those biceps).
Still-- ]
Caleb told me, last night-- that it's difficult to draw a line between blame and consequences. What happened to Adora was to punish me... I can acknowledge that.
... So if you blame yourself, I'll just have to stop you.
it's okay, beau rests her head against otome's as she walks.]
... I think it was to punish all of us. [she says, with a sigh.] I'm - trying. I'm trying.
[to not blame herself. she sighs.] I can't... fucking imagine, what it must be like, to have to be hunted down. To do something that's so opposite to your nature.
... [ She closes her eyes briefly, even as she listens. ]
If the only person I ever had to hurt was myself in order to protect people, I'd do it ten times over.
[ But it wasn't that easy and the consequences have come hard and fast this week, more than her increasing misery since the second week. ]
... Beau, I-- [ Otome takes a quieter breath. ] I think you know as well as I do that I might not even make it to the weekend. Are you really sure that's what you want?
I-- [ Even just that one syllable trembles and Beau can probably feel her emotions warring with each other. What she wants, what she thinks she deserves. What she's done, the people she's hurt, and the people who have still chosen to accept her. The ones who haven't, understandably.
She's scared. She knows how lonely it is to be the one left behind and Beau has already been hurt so much. Can she really do that to her? Even if it's just a risk right now?
But she remembers what she had told the old woman. About having to put the work in herself. And after everything this week has been, Otome can't help it.
She lifts her head and pulls herself closer just enough to catch Beau's mouth in a kiss. ]
[that absolutely stops her right in her tracks, and her breath hiccups a little when otome pulls her into a kiss. her emotions go wild - fondness and worry, affection and fear. she's scared of letting herself have this much.
but she also thinks about how fleeting things can be. she thinks about a cold dirt road and an orchard, thinks about how life can just - end, abruptly, no matter how bright you are.
and thinks fuck it. this isn't something she wants to pass up.
with a shivery little sound, beau kisses her back, lingering and soft.]
[ It's so warm and welcoming that she could honestly cry, if she wasn't already crying-- no longer heaving sobs, at least, but her emotions mixing with Beau's aren't doing her any favors here.
Still, Otome lingers in it, this comfort and gentleness, a little regretful that being deaf in one ear means she can't fully enjoy the soft sound Beau just made. And when she draws back, she speaks quietly.
[oh, there's all the fluster. the bridge of beau's nose and her cheeks dust with pink, and she laughs a little, maybe just a touch nervous. but she doesn't back down, and she doesn't run. she just shifts otome in her arms, and continues to carry her off.]
Feels like I should be asking you that question. [beau murmurs, pleased in this tiny, gleeful sort of way. maybe it's a risk, but she's so fucking sick of being sad.] Come take a nap with me, okay? I can practically feel how tired you are.
[ It's mumbled drowsily and it's probably actually hilarious that once Beau settles them into the bed, Otome just-- melts, for lack of a better word. The tension slowly drains out of her and she instinctively cuddles closer, exhaustion finally winning out over the rest of her emotions and turbulent thoughts. ]
[once she drifts off, beau tucks otome's head under her chin and absently strokes her fingers through her hair. it's relaxing - hopefully for both of them.
eventually, she'll fall asleep too, warm and safe, for now.]
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Week 4, Sunday
That happened. Otome doing her best to not go off on hyperventilation round 2 during the execution and tending to Mandricardo and she is pretty sure she still looks as terrible as she feels and not exactly ready to try and face everyone else that she hasn't spoken with already, but.
One can't wander too very far with Injuries or at least not very quickly, so she pauses to catch her breath. And breathes out, shakily.
-- And then kind of freezes like a deer in the headlights when her gaze falls on a familiar face. ]
Beau...
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... Otome. [she says, voice a bit hoarse. she's defensive, guarded, watching with her jaw tense and mouth twisted, a bit.]
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I'm sorry, [ she says finally, tiredly blinking back tears. Her own voice is hoarse. ] I didn't know that would-- but I think I must have put you through hell. I'm just-- [ And her voice cracks. ] -- Sorry. For everything.
I'll leave you to it, I didn't mean to intrude.
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she stutters, at first, but then she just doesn't let herself hesitate. she walks with purpose, like she's - going to just ram into her, or something, but she doesn't. she stops, very carefully takes otome's face in her hands, tilts her head up, and kisses her. just once, just - gently.
and then rests her forehead against otome's.]
Shut up. [she mutters.] Don't apologize to me when you've been going through hell for weeks.
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But Beau doesn't do any of that and for once, Otome's emotions don't remain at that bleak sort of resignation and self-loathing. There's surprise and something much warmer in the half-second that the kiss happens and she tries to draw in a breath as Beau presses their foreheads together.
What actually happens is that she instead bursts into tears, struggling to speak through her sobs. ]
W-why are-- y-you so amazing?
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[but - otome bursts into tears, and beau feels - over the top of nauseated, painful grief - a surge of protectiveness. she wraps her arms around her and just... holds her.]
I'm sorry this place has fucking sucked so bad for you. [she says, against otome's hair, closing her eyes.] I'm sorry.
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But her arms come up, her fingers curling into Beau's back as she tries to keep speaking, forcing herself to take deeper breaths. ]
S-stop. If... I'm not allowed to apologize, you aren't, either. This-- none of this is your fault.
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Feels like it. I probably shouldn't have tried to push so hard. [but - she's flat, matter of fact about it.] I was too nosy, and Adora suffered for it.
[she's gonna carry her off somewhere to rest!] Breathe, babe. It's okay, I've got you.
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Still-- ]
Caleb told me, last night-- that it's difficult to draw a line between blame and consequences. What happened to Adora was to punish me... I can acknowledge that.
... So if you blame yourself, I'll just have to stop you.
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it's okay, beau rests her head against otome's as she walks.]
... I think it was to punish all of us. [she says, with a sigh.] I'm - trying. I'm trying.
[to not blame herself. she sighs.] I can't... fucking imagine, what it must be like, to have to be hunted down. To do something that's so opposite to your nature.
... I'm with you. If you want me to be.
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If the only person I ever had to hurt was myself in order to protect people, I'd do it ten times over.
[ But it wasn't that easy and the consequences have come hard and fast this week, more than her increasing misery since the second week. ]
... Beau, I-- [ Otome takes a quieter breath. ] I think you know as well as I do that I might not even make it to the weekend. Are you really sure that's what you want?
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Yeah. [she says, after a moment.] Life is short.
... I want a little bit of happiness. Even if it won't last. [...] Do you?
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I-- [ Even just that one syllable trembles and Beau can probably feel her emotions warring with each other. What she wants, what she thinks she deserves. What she's done, the people she's hurt, and the people who have still chosen to accept her. The ones who haven't, understandably.
She's scared. She knows how lonely it is to be the one left behind and Beau has already been hurt so much. Can she really do that to her? Even if it's just a risk right now?
But she remembers what she had told the old woman. About having to put the work in herself. And after everything this week has been, Otome can't help it.
She lifts her head and pulls herself closer just enough to catch Beau's mouth in a kiss. ]
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but she also thinks about how fleeting things can be. she thinks about a cold dirt road and an orchard, thinks about how life can just - end, abruptly, no matter how bright you are.
and thinks fuck it. this isn't something she wants to pass up.
with a shivery little sound, beau kisses her back, lingering and soft.]
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Still, Otome lingers in it, this comfort and gentleness, a little regretful that being deaf in one ear means she can't fully enjoy the soft sound Beau just made. And when she draws back, she speaks quietly.
But there's her first real smile in a few days. ]
How could I not want you, Beau?
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Feels like I should be asking you that question. [beau murmurs, pleased in this tiny, gleeful sort of way. maybe it's a risk, but she's so fucking sick of being sad.] Come take a nap with me, okay? I can practically feel how tired you are.
[those protective vibes again.]
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I-- sleeping last night was kind of impossible, that's all.
[ But it's not a no. And she thinks even if she did protest, Beau wouldn't put her down anyway. ]
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I'll make sure nobody bothers you, okay?
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... Thank you, Beau. [ It's said very softly. Just for literally everything. ]
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anyway she's pretty much got a whole bed to herself so it's fine. ichiro and kon can sleep on the floor.]
Shh. You don't have to thank me. [she'll be here regardless.
this time, she doesn't bother being shy. she just settles on the bed, curled up with otome. she's careful of her wounds, as always.]
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[ It's mumbled drowsily and it's probably actually hilarious that once Beau settles them into the bed, Otome just-- melts, for lack of a better word. The tension slowly drains out of her and she instinctively cuddles closer, exhaustion finally winning out over the rest of her emotions and turbulent thoughts. ]
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eventually, she'll fall asleep too, warm and safe, for now.]