Catch-all; Caleb

[momming]

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week 4; saturday

[katzepaw]

[Well. He will go find her after trial, wherever she might be. There's more to try to talk about. Whenever he does find her, she'll find he's calmed down - layered some tense calmness over whatever he was feeling earlier, so he's less angry.]

Otome. . . ?

[momming]

[ She's just been crying somewhere, it's fine. By now, she's just emotionally... broken, it will feel like. Like she's numb, but with grief and guilt still nibbling at the edges.

She just looks at him, silently. ]

[katzepaw]

[Sometimes you're just broken. He understands, a little bit. So he feels sympathy towards her, but it's a little remote. He doesn't want to force her to endure his own feelings about the situation.]

. . . It wasn't wrong, to test the limits of it.

[momming]

... She's dead because of me, Caleb. I wanted to at least try to help, but--

[ Well. That backfired!! ]

[katzepaw]

They hurt her to punish you. There is a difference there. A significant one.

[After a moment.]

. . . You are not allowed to argue with that, either. The last person who wanted to punish me had a four year old child burned to death to teach me a lesson. Untangling consequence from blame is. . . not something I am good at, either.

[momming]

...

[ That... stuns her into silence, for a few seconds.

But he's right, that's... not easy to untangle and her eyes are burning with tears again. ]

If I could-- burn this place to the ground and just get everyone back home, I would do it in a heartbeat.

[katzepaw]

[It's sort of an ugly thing to say, to throw some of his own pain in her face, but . . . he doesn't have the gentleness of the person who spoke to him after that, so something harsh will have to do.]

. . . So would I. I would love to do it.

[momming]

If I survive that long, I'll be happy to assist.

[ A pause, and some worry creeps into her emotions. ]

... Is Beau all right?

[katzepaw]

. . . She is hurting. But she will be.

[He goes a little more closed off at that. It's good of her to worry, but he is also protective, wants to keep a barrier there if he can. When he thought Otome may have suspected the cost, he could have killed her. He still feels anger about it; that she knew she might have been hurt, but let Beau be the one to do it.]

I don't even know what to make of what you said in there.

[momming]

That's... something you'll probably have to discuss with the others. I really don't think it's a good idea if I...

[ Yeah. She's not someone who enjoys others being harmed. What had happened to Adora had seriously shocked her, and that numb horror is still very much present. But also resolve, to never speak of it again. She can't risk other people's lives. ]

[katzepaw]

No, certainly. No more testing the boundaries of what you can say.

[He only wanted to try and listen to her emotional reaction. If she seemed confused or uncertain about it.]

[momming]

[ She just nods, miserably.

So much for trying to help!! ]

[katzepaw]

[Ah, Otome. Despite everything, he just feels sorry for her.]

But I suppose I wonder. . . if it hadn't been for Adora, if the punishment had fallen on you instead, would you have been satisfied with that outcome for yourself?

[momming]

Yes.

[ No hesitation there. ]

[katzepaw]

So that tells me something, too.

[Though there's a wave of some hurt there, too.]

. . . It would have been equally cruel to Beauregard if you had succeeded. But sometimes, risks need to be taken.

[momming]

... I'm sorry. I'd never want to hurt her. I just thought, if I was going to be executed anyway, if I could do anything before that--

[ She breaks off, frustrated. ]

Honestly, I... don't know what to do now.

[katzepaw]

You're still alive.

[The way he says that, the emotions that come with it, suggests that he understands that that may be the cruellest part of all of this.]

So there will be things you can do.

[momming]

[ Yeah, she's Suffering ]

... You're right. [ tiredly. ]

Even if I had to break my oath, I'm still a doctor. And I still want to end this.

[katzepaw]

If you could choose anything you could accomplish for this week, short of destroying this place, what would it be?

[momming]

... Figuring out the real source of the problem.

[ It's vague, but. It has to be. ]

[katzepaw]

[It's vague, but it tells him something, too.]

Alright. Then let's work at it, to whatever extent we can.

[momming]

... Thank you.

[ For a lot of things, but most importantly-- ]

I'm glad she has you.

[katzepaw]

She always will, though I am the fortunate one.

[To have people like her who care about him. . . it's more than what he feels he deserves, so he intends to protect it however he can.]

[momming]

I don't particularly see why it can't be both.

[ Though this group doesn't seem to be all that confident about themselves. ]

[katzepaw]

[Sometimes you have brain problems. He laughs a little at that, but says no more.]

. . . We've treated both you and Byleth a bit cruelly, haven't we? Exposing you, but leaving you to wait around for the hammer to drop.